Today, my wife claimed that she should build her muscle against the frigidity in Iceland. I did’t think it is either good or bad. I can’t realize its importance. She said "Can I take a lesson for pilates every Sunday? (and it takes one and thirty hourss and you must care for your child by yourself while I build my muscle)". Pilates is a some kind of exercise. I thought it sounds good for us once. Hmm…​ But wait, is it really important? If her muscle training were very important, is the 'pilates' the only way? I’ve never heard that you are interested in body building before. She will leave my doughter and me when she go to the lesson. I should care for my doughter one and half hours and my time to study English will be reduced. I replied "Can you give me some time to consider about it?". Then, my wife got angry.

Under a situation like this, she always say "You don’t want stay with your doughter". She often choose such words intentionally to make me feel guilty. I think her words are quite unfair because she is only a person who is going to leave our doughter. That is what I dislike about her.

It is true that I commute English school leaving my doughter and my wife every weekend. It is a burden on her (because "She doesn’t want stay with her doughter" in her phrase). This might be a reason why she expected I readily agree with her new activity. Her opinion are based give-and-take. Once, she called the opinion "Go-on system".

I remember that once we quarelled about my English study. She said "You have no chance to get test score and should give up studying". It was really bad. My activity was completely denied, I got hurt and be disappointed. I explained reasons — why I study English and why I take English classes — to her while I felt horrible. She have never apologized to me about her abuse but she reluctantly conceded. I won’t forget the terrible day.

I’m not going to revenge myself on her. I want her to do whatever she want if we have much time. But, we don’t have enough time even studying English. And I think she can build muscle at home. In addition, she might not think building muscle is important. As a reason for that, after she got angry, she’ve not explain why pilates is importat or why building muscle is necessary. Instead of that, she’ve always found fault with my words or action. It make no sense other than things are going to get worse.